I was deep-thinking this morning at 4 am while I was cross stitching (Donald's scariest moments are when he gets up and knows I've been thinking for at least 3 hours, quietly and alone.) It started with me thinking of Dori's friend, Katie Smith, and segued into thinking of my 2 kids and what a paradox it is to be a parent, especially going through their teen years. I have a son and a daughter, and unsurprisingly, we will be concentrating on her, mostly because girls are so good at the "eye-roll" in their teen years; therefore, sending more irritating signals than a boy for instance.
I hope I can stay up with myself on this journey into my mind. First, you are the 35-year-old parent of this 15-year-old girl who will eye-roll you to your back, in essence saying you don't have a clue what you're talking about, Mom. She's had so much life experience.
Then when she is 35 and attempting to organize and stabilize her life with all her children, she doesn't turn to her mother for her now 65-year-old experience. No, she turns to her 35-year old friends who have more wisdom than her mother did at 35.
For some it takes a therapist (probably only 35 years old) to put things together, then you have a phone conversation with Mom about what you learned in your session and when Mom adds something you haven't told her yet the response is "that's exactly what he said." I have a BP from AofSP (Bachelor of Parenthood from Advocates of Senior Parents) and I wouldn't charge anything for the advice.
And there is the paradigm (pattern) which she (37) will now begin experiencing with her oldest boy (11).
About Me
- Scary Mom
- Donald and I have been married for 44 years. I have worked for 40 of those years. I have 2 kids, 43 and 36, and 7 grandchildren. We have a 5th wheel and travel quite extensively throughout the U.S. We mix in B&Bs. I love to take solo driving trips, usually a couple of weeks at a time. Donald and I have a tradition of making a trip the first week of December called our Prelude to Christmas and it might be anywhere in the U.S. or Canada. We do some of our gift buying then, but mostly it's to get in the spirit with the Christmas decorations of different sections of the country.
1 comment:
I almost afraid to comment. In fact, I'm squinting while typing this.
First, I can completely empathize with Dad - your thoughtful attacks are the scariest.
Second, it's not that your daughter's 35-year-old friends are wiser than you were at 35, but that they aren't as closely related, so they can't call her on her b.s. as easily.
Finally, boys can be quite talented at the eye-roll. I thought I was the master, but my 11-year-old child has S-C-H-O-O-L-E-D me at it. < commiserating :)>
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