Waiting in Quiet Desperation

This weekend was Dori's birthday weekend and she, Chad, and their 4 boys came to our house to celebrate. They arrived Friday night, Dori's actual birthday, and since they got here pretty late, decided to wait and open presents and eat birthday cake until Saturday. This was so the boys could participate and Dori's Grandmommy was also coming over.

Saturday started out mild enough but soon grew into a monster of a day for everyone in many different presentations. Chad and Dad stayed home with the children, while I took Dori to my doctor's weekend clinic. She had developed a pain in her back that was so severe she couldn't talk. We all mostly decided it was kidney stones so we were just going for the pain medication and diagnosis, just to make sure it wasn't something life-threatening. When the doctor finally saw her after 2 hours of waiting, she promptly sent us to the emergency room and called them to let us know they were coming.

However, when we got there, as you hear so many times they treat patients in pain first, we were still put on a waiting list. They did see her before many of the other patients who had already been there though.

Before I talk about Dori, the main character, Chad and Dad were waiting at home, while taking care of 4 boys, to hear from us. Their day must have been agonizing. I tried to keep them posted, but when there's no news, what do you call and say?

In the meantime, Dori was in such pain she couldn't function - walk, talk, stand, sit, lie down, nothing made the pain dissipate. Sometimes she could not even communicate and it seemed she was not aware of her surroundings. She said later that if there was a scale to 20 that's where she was. Six hours later she finally got relief with pain medication, passed a kidney stone and found out she still has several in each kidney.

She was over the worst part and was now purely exhausted. While I, who had been waiting in quiet desperation, was not over it yet. I, although not suffering real pain, suffered a mother's anguish where you pray to God that he would transfer that pain to your body. Today's Monday and I still can't stop thinking about the raw look of Dori's face during her trauma.

But it also makes me think of something else. My mother is 86 and I hope she lives to be 100, but even then, when she's not here anymore, I will have lost that one person who would take that pain for me. This weekend made me realize I will miss it sorely.

Memories from Under the Semi-Full Christmas Tree

Anyone my age with children and grandchildren will relate to anything I write about this and will most likely have opinions of their own. Your children will be defensive, of course.

This was our "off" year for Christmas, meaning it was the "on" year for the in-laws (that is, going to the in-laws house sometime during the Christmas holidays.) Thus, it was our year to visit our children if we wanted to see them instead of just mailing the packages. We're not old enough yet to let Christmas go by without somehow seeing them.

Our daughter hasn't sworn off coming home during the month of December as close to Christmas as she can because she is very nostalgic and we live on land that has been in my family for a couple of hundred years. She hasn't lived 200 years, but she is melancholy for the almost 36 years she has been coming to this spot. This year it just couldn't be worked out, so we made our trek to Arlington to stay a couple of nights on the weekend before Christmas. We packed up all the presents and Dori and Chad's stockings (given in secret when the boys were in bed) and it was like having Christmas morning on that Saturday sans Santa. We had a great day and we were able to see the kids enjoy their gifts. Our tree back home was now only half-full because we hadn't yet had Christmas giving with Derrick.

On Friday before leaving, I was eating chips and felt a slight pain in my back left tooth. By the end of Saturday it was beginning to throb and at 3:15 am Sunday morning I drove myself to the emergency room telling Donald he needed to stay and get some sleep so he could drive home the next day. I got back to the room at 5:30 am and he hadn't been asleep. We headed over to Dori's and during the night Pearce had developed a full fledged sinus infection and my tooth still needed fixing, so our trip was cut short.

We headed home on the 21st and I had a dental visit where he informed me I had a cracked tooth on the 23rd, my Nyvall family Christmas on the 25th, Donald left on our 44th anniversary on the 28th for Kansas to pheasant hunt, had a root canal on the 30th, fitted for a crown on the 31st, went to a New Year's Eve party - all of this on pain killers (thank God!) And still felt guilty for not spending more time at Dori's.

Then we headed for Bastrop for our "off" Christmas with Derrick and his family on January 2 and had a really fun time there also. My tooth didn't hurt any more, our daughter-in-law actually ate wild game two nights in a row (pheasant on the first night and venison on the second.) Our grandson in Bastrop ended up with a sinus infection and his Mama had to take him to the doctor on Sunday. He spent most of his time while we were there in bed feeling really bad (he's 4 so you know how bad he felt.)

All of this was within a 1-week period. And now under the tree is empty. We are camping in Blanco State Park for 4 days just to recuperate from the "off" year and already making plans for the "on" year. And this is the kicker - that's if our kids stay the course. But we won't know anything until some time in December 2009. That's okay, though, because no matter what we'll still see them and our tree will be Full because it's our "on" year.