Actually, she is a very young, fun, pretty 35 and she just had a little bitty baby (a preemie.)
Mostly, this post is about her best friends, and she has quite a few, but the handful of her better than best is who I'm going to talk about now. During Dori's traumatic march to have this baby beginning at about 6:00 am, they were loving, dutiful, worried, and attentive equal to and beyond me. When I got to the hospital (I'm 2 hours away by car), 2 of them were already there, 1 had already picked up her 2-year-old, and throughout that first day and the rest of her stay they were like her Moms and Dads. If any of you guys read this post, I want to tell you I am so glad you are part of my daughter's family.
It is almost over and we can almost breathe deeply, that is, until the little bitty comes home from the hospital. Dori is fit and ready to get back into the swing of being the mother of 4 and she now has 2 more kids than I do. So I guess that makes her more of an expert on the subject of children than me.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
My Husband's Mother
Everytime we have a family function - a holiday, birthday, birth, whatever, she is either going to be late, change her plans at the last minute, cancel at the last minute or thrust herself into the mix with no warning.
For instance, when I choose to host a get together, I am, in fact, putting on a show, in which I am the performer and my guests are the audience. My guess is that whether she gets there or not and when, my mother-in-law is "stealing the show" - and she knows it.
When she is late or reschedules or barges in, the conversation is about her and that's what she is secretly hoping for.
We are all familiar with this type of person, who seeks attention by constantly creating a roller coaster of crises. These folks continually experience hypochondria, invent drama, and generate chaos in their relationships. The stress they cause is absolutely unnecessary, but it guarantees that the focus is always on them. The challenge comes when they insist that you join them on their crazy ride. So before drowning in my sorrows, I need to take back center stage by setting up boundaries for everyone attending my get togethers.
Since I can't change my mother-in-law, when something comes up in the future, I will let everyone involved know what time things are happening and stick to my agenda. After all, the majority of people are respecting my wishes.
Best of all, I will have drawn an internal boundary of my own. I'll have ended my habit of seeing his mom's thoughtlessness as a personal offense. When my mother-in-law does change her plans, I will make no mention of it because there is no point in rewarding rude behavior.
For instance, when I choose to host a get together, I am, in fact, putting on a show, in which I am the performer and my guests are the audience. My guess is that whether she gets there or not and when, my mother-in-law is "stealing the show" - and she knows it.
When she is late or reschedules or barges in, the conversation is about her and that's what she is secretly hoping for.
We are all familiar with this type of person, who seeks attention by constantly creating a roller coaster of crises. These folks continually experience hypochondria, invent drama, and generate chaos in their relationships. The stress they cause is absolutely unnecessary, but it guarantees that the focus is always on them. The challenge comes when they insist that you join them on their crazy ride. So before drowning in my sorrows, I need to take back center stage by setting up boundaries for everyone attending my get togethers.
Since I can't change my mother-in-law, when something comes up in the future, I will let everyone involved know what time things are happening and stick to my agenda. After all, the majority of people are respecting my wishes.
Best of all, I will have drawn an internal boundary of my own. I'll have ended my habit of seeing his mom's thoughtlessness as a personal offense. When my mother-in-law does change her plans, I will make no mention of it because there is no point in rewarding rude behavior.
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